Happy International Woman’s Day!

We are seriously the forces of change in the world! Today I thought I’d share a little bit about where I am now and my womanhood journey, especially as a woman of God.

I guess I officially entered womanhood when I turned 18 years old. When I turned 18 I became a legal adult, graduated high school, and headed off to college. All of those things were huge milestone for me in my life.  It’s now been 4 years since then and I can confidently tell you I am not the same woman I was 4 years ago. I am a evolving woman of God. What does that mean exactly? Well to me it means the I am a young woman who loves the Lord but at the same time I’m constantly evolving. I’m discovering who I am and who I want to be in the world and the more I evolve and grow the more I authentically become who I was created to be.

The past 4 years in my womanhood have been adventurous to say the least. Sometimes there have been moments so radical that It changed who I was as person overnight. Other times in the quiet moments, I realized my transformation had come slow for me in certain areas. The main transformation that I see within myself is the freedom that has come over me! I have kissed the days goodbye of any stereotype/expectation of how I’m supposed to be, look, talk or act as a woman of God! Y’all I couldn’t do it anymore and I literally had to say “bye boo boo!” to the expectations.  I’ve come to realize that Jesus gives me the grace to be myself and to live my process.

He liberates me to bloom and conqueror. He uplifts me when I crash and fail. God guides my path, but also lovingly allows me to choose for myself. He is my biggest cheerleader in all of my life moments, in all of my transformation, and as I evolve he remains constant. Jesus didn’t die for who I would become in him, but he died for where I am in this moment. I am a woman and a daughter of the king who can approach his throne as me! That is the best feeling in the world!

I cut the B.S with God a long time ago (he sees right through it anyway). I am my most authentic and raw self when I’m with him so sometimes it’s messy. That means I’m always real. If I don’t feel like talking to him I tell him. If I think someone is a bitch and I don’t want to pray for them I tell him.  Sorry if you’re offended by what I just wrote but this is the reality of my relationship with God. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t do this proudly. I am not walking around thinking I can say or do whatever I want in my relationship with God. What I am saying though is that I recognize who I am with and in him. I don’t have to hide my humanity around him or walk around egg shells.

He isn’t and will never be afraid of my humanity, or where I am in life. He knows and sees all things and I think he’s glad that I lay everything on the table rather than put up a pretense. Having a raw and honest relationship with Lord is the only thing that will push us into holiness and righteousness. Into true transformation where we genuinely reflect him and become our most authentic selves. For all us transformation/evolving will take a lifetime. We are constantly changing and growing and God is faithful to complete every good work he’s started in us. So we have to trust God in our process. We have to believe that his word true and that he does love us exactly where we are! There is no need to force being holy or whatever it is you feel you need to be.

While we embrace who we are flaws and all and pursue relationship with him, we not only have an authentic relationship with God, but we realize that in time we start reflecting him. So be yourself y’all no matter what it looks like! Don’t jump ahead of God. Don’t force yourself to be something you’re not, especially if you’re not there yet. In due time you’ll get there and God will do the transformation in you to be there! trust you’re process and trust and believe the love he has for the person you are now!

I’ve always felt like I’m known of but not KNOWN. Do you get what I’m saying? Like people know me because I’m outgoing and free spirited but they don’t really know who I am as a person. What’s even worse is that from what they see they’ll make preconceived notions of who they think you are and in their minds they’ll decided whether or not your worthy of friendship, relationship, so on and so forth. I freaking hate this! A person once told me (I honestly think they had good intentions but it came out seriously wrong) along these lines “You know I didn’t really get it with you or see what the big deal was with you but I just realized now you have so much favor on your life.” Seriously?! Come on y’all why do we do this to each other? Why do we decided in our minds who is worthy to be known without taking the steps to actually get deeper than the surface level.  In our society we right people off so much and think we have figured out a person in 10 mins but in actuality we have don’t have the slightest idea of who they really are.

This very thing left me wounded and isolated for a very long time. For years I felt like I always fell under the “unworthy” and “misunderstood” mark for people to truly get to know me. I started believing that there was something wrong with my personality. That I was too loud, too much, not quiet enough or “righteous enough” and the list goes on and on. Knowing and unknowingly I drastically started altering who I was “to be worthy” of being known. I was way more quiet and reserved, I didn’t speak my mind so I wouldn’t offend, and I did things to make me blend in instead of standout. It was awful and I was slowly dying and losing myself on the inside. Then one day, by the grace of God I had breakthrough. It was like the sun had finally risen and wiped away all of my dark shadows. I started realizing that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me! That I was created with gold in my heart and so much love that I can’t even fathom and that being authentically myself is the only way I can truly glorify God to the fullest and manifest who Jesus is in the earth. I am worthy to be known because I am known and seen by Jesus. That’s it. You are worthy to be known because you are known and seen by Jesus. That’s it.

You are worthy to be sought after. You are worthy of people to take the time to know who you really are. The people in your life who do this for you and those around you keep them close. They are one in a million! Let’s be seekers of people’s hearts. Let’s seek to know and to be known by people.

Lots of love loves!

-Oyinda